This is a autobiographical story I wrote for my master’s non-fiction class of how I received healing for sickness I’d been plagued with my entire life.
I stared at the pattern of the dark wood on the restaurant wall; it was the only stimulus I could handle. My brain was fogged in a sinus infection. I was on day four of an experiment in faith, and so far, the experiment was looking pretty shaky.
A few months earlier, I had joined a church-sponsored Bible study about applying faith in God to everyday situations. When I showed up the first night, the leader asked us to write down a list of specific areas where we had a desire to grow our faithâ€”not just the easy stuff, but the things that seemed impossible.
I quickly listed: finding a husband, writing a book, and then hesitated as I wrote what seemed impossible, healing for my sinuses. It was hard to write those words on the page. I felt vulnerable and exposed as I admitted my deep desire for God to heal me.
I had wanted healing so many times before, and it had seemed as if my prayers fell on deaf ears. Would this time be different? What if I was let down again? It was daunting to believe that I could be better because chronic sickness had been a fact of life for all of my 26 years.
When I was a baby I had constant ear aches, which transitioned to sinus infections as I grew older. I became intimately acquainted with the bubble gum medicine, doctor visits, and trash cans full of crumpled tissues. Exhaustion, grogginess, and nausea became part of the normal routine. I was diagnosed with a long list of allergies, but the normal treatments didn’t work. By the time I reached college, I was having continuous sinus infections that would go on for months with no avail. The antibiotic dosages kept climbing with each occurrence, but had increasingly less impact. Finally, at age 20, after six months of miseryâ€”vomiting every morning, barely being able to smell or hearâ€”I underwent sinus surgery.
I had a reprieve for about ten months, and I can still remember the hot tears of disappointment when I began having sinus infections again. After college, I took a job that involved traveling. I returned from every trip with the characteristic stuffy nose, pressurized head, and queasy stomach.
When I began the study on faith, I had reached the end of my rope. I was desperate to find a way to stop the infections; I was willing to do anything. But I had done everything I knew to do. I was willing to do more, but what else was there? Even the doctors were out of solutions.
I plunged into the study on faith. Brett, my soon-to-be boyfriend, and I did our homework for the course together, searching the scriptures for insight on faith and healing. The weeks passed quickly.
We examined every instance where Jesus healed â€” not once did He ever turn away anyone who was sick or tormented. He always healed, but He often requested that people respond to their faith by taking action. For the first time, I realized how critical it was for those seeking miracles to apply faith their faith through obedience and action.
It wasn’t long before I had the opportunity to put my faith to the test. I woke up one morning with a clogged nose and a tender throat: the classic signs of an impending sinus infection. I got the sinking feeling of doom.
My knee-jerk reaction was to call the doctor and request medicine. This was my normal strategy: race against time to stamp out the infection while it was still in the early stages. If I waited too long, I would be at the mercy of the bacteria and no amount of medicine would help. Two weeks of illness would stretch into two months.
But then I remembered everything I had learned in the faith study. If I believed that Jesus had healed me, then I needed to behave like it.
This timeâ€”for the first timeâ€”I decided to take a stand. I continued in my daily routine without any medicine, believing God’s Word of healing over the symptoms that I felt in my body. It was an experiment in faith that I hoped would prove true.
After a few days, the pressure in my head was so intense that I felt like it was going to blow up. And yet, I dragged my body out of bed, quoting the scriptures I had memorized. I floundered through the motions of life, looking pasty and feeling nauseated. I asked everyone I knew to pray, knowing that I was nearing my limit. I was about to give up.
By the fourth day, I wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and sleep. I called the doctor and requested medicine. And yet, I still didn’t want to give up on my faith experiment yet. I wanted to come to a point first where I felt like I had stepped out and really given this healing thing a chance. So I refrained from taking the medicine and kept waiting for things to change for the better.
So there I was, staring at the wood paneling in a steak restaurant, willing myself to make it through dinner when the aroma of meat and mash potatoes turned my stomach.
As we looked at the menu, I felt despair. It seemed like my faith experiment was a wash. So far, I hadnâ€™t had any results. I was disappointed.
Brett was sitting across from me. â€œWhat are you going to eat?â€ he asked, disturbing me from my depressing thoughts.
â€œI don’t think I can eat anything,â€ I said. â€œMy stomach is unhappy.â€
Instead of pitying me, his eyes got intense. â€œWhat would a healthy person order?â€ he challenged.
â€œA healthy person would order a steak and eat every bite of it!â€ I replied with gusto, my faith in my still unseen healing restored. â€œBecause healthy people eat steak!!!â€
I ordered a huge 12 oz. rib eye. I could only eat 3 bites, but something changed in me. I had crossed a bridge of faith, and now I knew that the experiment was over. I started feeling better during the meal, and I knew that it would not be giving up to go ahead and take the medicine. I knew at that point that I was healed, and that these infections would never dominate my life again. I didnâ€™t have any tingling sensations or out of body experiences, but it was mysterious and wonderful all the same. I was a healthy person.
It’s been nearly three years since that day, and I no longer have chronic sinus infections. My doctors donâ€™t know what to think. I told them about my faith experiment, and they said that research shows that there are many parts of the brain that we donâ€™t use to its fullest extent. I just smile and thank God.
Want read more? See the facts: check out my sinus prescription history before and after I received healing.