Pastor Jeff’s Tips for Friendship – Extended Version

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Recently (3/22/08), we heard some really good teaching on friendship from our pastor, Jeff Perry. It was also Peggy’s birthday!
God created us for fellowship, so we should learn what it means.
Love is regarding others as precious.
Learn how to get reinforcement from God so you can have better friendships.

1. Assume nothing
Don’t depend on others to make you happy.
Nothing substitutes for God.
The overly needy thing is weird.

2. Ask God for the right relationships
God-ordained friendships have grace.
In a big church, most people only know 50 other people.
Don’t have unrealistic expectations.
25% of Americans have no one to confide in.
Not every person is supposed to be your close friend.

Jesus’ relationship gradation:
12 disciples
3 ascension friends
1 best friend: John

God orders our steps.

3. Look at relationships not for what they can do for but what you can do for them
Are you this type of person: Here I am or there you are.
Learn how to say no; you don’t have to fix your friends.
You find out who your friends are when you have trouble.
To the degree you love yourself, you can love others.
When you spend time with God, you are in better shape.

4. Be the friend you’d like to have
Become marry-able.
Prov. 18:24 A man of many friends comes to ruin.
Too many friendships take too much maintenance, you become man-pleasers, lose yourself.

A man of many friends shows himself friendly.
Be kind. Don’t be fake.

5. Be generous
Prov. 19:6 A man who gives gifts will have friends

6. Bridle your tongue
Prov. 22:11 You’ll have the King as your friend if you watch your mouth.

Friendship is about trust.
Friends desire what is best for you.
Look for compatibilities and interests, God will foster that in your lives.

7. Be loyal
Prov. 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend.
Do not forsake your own friend.

8. Real friendship is rooted in security
Everyone wants to feel like this person is the real deal.
In church, good friendships can be developed because we have common ground.

9. Believe in people
Believe in people’s potential.
Look through redemption’s eye.
Outdo each other in honor.

10. Use wisdom
Stay in the light.
Watch how you behave with people of the opposite sex, especially married people. Protect yourself: don’t drive in the car alone with married friends of the opposite sex.
Flee the appearance of evil.

By the way, this teaching was at Anchors, a new group for 20s and 30s at SLFC. It’s on the fourth Saturday every month at 6:30 p.m.

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